The North Park Student Newspaper Since 2023
Why Arsenal losing the UCL final was a blessing.
SOUTH STAR
Harshit Srivastava
6/11/20262 min read
It’s no surprise that soccer (or football if you are one of those weird ones) is the biggest sport on the planet. You can play soccer in any country with just a ball and a dream. Like all sports, there are tournaments where the best of the best compete to win. One such tournament is the UEFA Champions League (Union of European Football Associations) or the UCL for short. This league is by far the most prestigious trophy, right below the World Cup. To get into this tournament, you must be the best team/club in your league. For example, my favorite club, Barcelona, won the LaLiga Cup and thus secured a spot for themself in the UCL bracket. Similarly, all other clubs secured their spot.
Now, enter Arsenal. Arsenal is an English club based in North London, often known by its iconic red logo. Now, the English aren’t particularly good at cooking or playing soccer. This is evident because matches in their national tournament, the Premier League, are the most unwatched soccer games of all time due to the slow pace of scoring. Arsenal, among the clubs that play the Premier League, have some of the worst players of all time. These guys literally should not be allowed to touch a soccer ball. Somehow, these buffoons not only reached the UCL brackets but won the Premier League. My original expectation was that they would lose to the other clubs they were playing against.
Match after Match, I kept seeing Arsenal move ahead on the table. I knew that this was definitely Armageddon, and if Arsenal won the UCL Cup, the universe would spontaneously combust . In what world could Arsenal, the club that was notorious for having one of the highest losing rates in finals, having only 49 trophies in more than 130 years of existence, and having players that literally no one wants, move to the final? I knew that this had to be “ragebait” from the opps, so I genuinely took 83 seconds of personal time in respect to Bam Adebayo (elite ball knowledge). Then I focused on the team they were facing: PSG (Paris Saint-Germain). PSG has a history of winning in the UCL ever since they signed a new generation of young players playing for them. But only time could tell which club would win the UCL.
On May 30 2026, Arsenal lost to PSG. With an aggregate score of 4-3, PSG just barely won due to penalty shots at the end of the game. As PSG’s star player Ousmane Dembélé lifted the cup in front of Arsenal, my body finally felt at ease knowing that the world wouldn’t be destroyed and that Arsenal hate would continue on.